I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
