I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
