my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
