I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
