WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
