I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
