Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
