I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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