i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize