Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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