Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
