just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
