I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
