Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
