My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
