Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
