do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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