guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
