singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
