Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
