the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
