I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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