Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
