weddingsv make me drug and hornr
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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