16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just pee around me
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
