i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
