So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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