so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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