first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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