I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You're like the curious george of whores
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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