How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My vagina is very pro this idea
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
