I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
