I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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