actually, I'm a sock model
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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