just survived the first fart of the relationship.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
