in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
