If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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