my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
