Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
