I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras