I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.