i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra