I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
