I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?