I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.