Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am