Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
foreskin is a definite game changer
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother