do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
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It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
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currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"