is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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