so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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