Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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