i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
