doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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