i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The air was thick with penises
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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