Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
