I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
