dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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