its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
