That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
