It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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