im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
