Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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