If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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