i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
