Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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