ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
