just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
