Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
