Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
