gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
