You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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