tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize