You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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