I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
God, I missed his penis.
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