Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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