i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My balls are so social today.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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