Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
